How do you cope when the unexpected becomes a reality?

A friend recently reached out to me, devastated that the man that she was dating had unexpectedly passed away. She didn’t understand how to process the situation. Just 46 years old and a runner, he had seemed to be the picture of perfect health.

So just how do you begin to process something like this?

Unfortunately, death is one of the harsh realities life. Everything is impermanent. Including you.

This is one of the most important concepts that we can can embrace. Mindfulness teaches us that resisting physical or emotional pain results in suffering. This includes dealing with death.

The truth is that we only exist for a short time in this life. All of the things that we care about will pass on.

However, our autopilot tries to protect us from this reality. That’s why death is so shocking. But – at some level – we all know the truth.

Through our practice of mindfulness, we can come to terms with this rather than trying to pretend it doesn’t exist. Being present with impermanence is the toll-free expressway to freedom from suffering.

The only way to completely heal and move on is to fully embrace the pain of death by letting it arise and pass.

Through this, we can see the beauty of both love and loss.  We could not experience love without the reality of impermanence – and we cannot fully understand impermanence without the pain of love lost.

In other words, if you find yourself in this situation, don’t fight the pain. Let it be what it is.

It hurts. And it feels awful. But don’t bottle it up.

To your mindfulness,

Dr. Marchand